Picture this:
You're out for dinner with a group of adults, people who may or may not have met before--book club, baseball parents, women's club, for instance. The food has been served and several people have picked up their utensils and begun to eat. Another member of the group calls for the attention of the person who organized the outing, saying "Shall we say Grace?"
This person is told "Of course you may. We usually say it to ourselves."
What do you think?
posted by Joan S. at 11:19 PM
4 Comments:
I think, yikes, awkward!
And I think the awkwardness was created by both parties. I say grace before meals, I but I know not everyone does, so if we're out with a group, not in charge and no one says a group grace, I'll just leave it alone.
However, I think after someone suggested grace, the polite thing to do on the part of the group leader would have been to stop, say a quick grace or ask the person who brought it up if they'd like to say a quick grace for everyone. It seems like, in this case, the person in charge went out of their way to make the person who asked feel foolish in front of the group.
I'm interested to see what others think!
I'm interested, too, because my take on it is almost the opposite of yours! Either way, it is awkward--but it seemed to me that the person asking to say Grace should have asked as soon as the food was served, not after people had started eating--and I feel it should not have been put on another person as to whether or not to say it aas a group. But I do think there must be a better response. I just don't know what it is....
I wish I had received more response to this...but since I didn't, let me just say that, I, too, say Grace before meals. I had bowed my head and thanked God a few minutes before the issue if Grace came up at this dinner. (Yes, minutes--this person waited a fairly long time to suggest the prayer, probably because she didn't know how the handle it any better than I.)
I have been present in the past when someone suggests Grace for a group in a public place, who then proceeds to 'correct' anyone who has had the audacity to begin eating before thanking God for the meal. She then stood up and said Grace in a very loud voice, causing several other diners to turn and stare. It was an uncomfortable feeling for me all around. I don't make a spectacle of my talks with God, I just do it. I also thought it was rude to embarrass those who had begun eating. In my opinion, the purpose of Grace is to bless the food and thank God for it--not to prove one is more righteous than the rest.
Its hard to know exactly what the organizer should have responded to this. If there was a perfect thing to say that would leave no one uncomfortable or feeling chastised, then she should have said that. But I can't think of what it might be.
Therefore, given a choice between making all the people already eating feel uncomfortable and making the woman who suggested grace uncomfortable...I'd say she made the correct choice.
Because honestly, the fact that the woman waited till people were well into their meals before asking makes me feel that she was just trying to draw attention to herself. You are being kind in suggesting that she didn't know how to handle it. If she wasn't shy about saying it after people had started eating, I can't believe she would have been shy about saying it before. And in a group of mixed company like that, its an awkward thing to suggest in the first place. You can't assume that everyone believes what you do - so the appropriate thing to do is exactly what Joan did - thank God in a way that doesn't draw attention to yourself.
Matthew 6:5-6: "And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men....when thou prayest, enter into thy closet and when thou has shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret...."
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